So, I have family coming in this weekend, and, as you may well imagine because you know me, Gentle Reader, I am stressed about my house and getting it cleaned because they are staying with me and my guest room is currently housing all the laundry, folded and unfolded, and that's where my mom is going to be sleeping and I haven't even begun to vacuum up whatever bug carcases are now in the basement thanks to the bug bombing and I'm not even sure if anyone should be sleeping on the couch in the basement as it has so recently been bug-bombed and I don't even know if I have enough sheets and blankets for everyone who is coming and I'm completely overwhelmed by the thought of just even getting the regular stuff done (but I'm so grateful that at least the toilets are cleaned, so I guess that's something) and keeping it maintained until someone arrives and I still need to go to Costco and I have no idea WHEN everyone is going to get here and so that's kinda stressful, but at least the baby is sleeping, so I really should be doing something besides watching the DVR'd Grey's Anatomy that I didn't get to watch last night, right? Oh, and I haven't even showered for 2 days, and my head is itchy so I'm freaking out again that maybe I have lice which I haven't had for over 2 months, and no one in my family have had for weeks and weeks so it's pretty unlikely that is the cause of my head itchy-ness, but I'm still a little freaked out, and then I just read someone's blog who was talking about this amazing blogging mom who was in a terrible plane crash in August and has burns on 80% of her body and had to have reconstructive surgery on so much of her body and they are worried that her kids may not recognize her, and she was such a great mom who, just as an example, for Back-to-school for her 4 kids, ages 6 yrs old to 23 months (WHAT???? And I thought my four came fast) had a banquet where she made her two school age daughters crowns and had little white roses on the table and had a theme for the upcoming year of "Be Prepared" and then had a fashion show where her kids got to show off new school clothes, thus belaying the fact that she had actually GOTTEN the school clothes already so this mom was just really really together and celebrated being a mom and married and stuff and rarely groused on HER blog about the troubles of life, and I can't even get my laundry folded so it's growing in the Guest Room waiting to be done and put away so I can wash sheets so my Mom doesn't have to sleep on top of all that and Super J would have done it this morning (at least the folding part) but I finally just had to give him Miss Q because she wasn't letting me get any sleep and would smack me in the face and squirm because she has terrible gas bubbles every time I fell asleep and so I just needed a moment where I didn't have responsibility for her for just a little bit.
DEEP BREATH.
And so this morning after everyone got off to school and work, I was sitting with Miss O, and we were both having some waffles and I thought, I'm going to force myself to live in the present, for just this little moment. I am not going to think what I need to get done and what hasn't been done and what probably won't get done. I'm just going to think and talk in the present tense and try not to future guess what Miss O or Miss Q will want in a few minutes. I'm just going to eat my waffle and talk to Miss O and try to figure out what she's talking about and talk to her.
So I did.
And believe it or not, I'm not AS stressed out about the other stuff. I mean, all the people who are coming love me, as is, and have already been to my house and know that I know how to clean and fold laundry and could care less because the reason they are coming up is to celebrate the fact that we have a new baby and they KNOW what it's like to have new babies and that it's hard to maintain a certain "Pre-baby" balance. They know that. They will and are going to cut me some slack about that. Heck, my sister in law has already told me not to worry about meals because they'd be happy having cereal for every meal (can you even imagine? lol) but she was serious. Which was nice. So, yeah, they'll cut me some slack.
And I guess I need to cut myself some, too.
Baby's awake now...gotta go. And try to live in the present for maybe another moment or two today--I've gotta start somewhere.
4 comments:
You really do need to cut yourself some slack. You are amazing, don't forget it. And your family knows it!
Yes we do. :) *hugs* *points to Katie's statement.
My friend, Dianna, always tells me, "Compare and despair." I think this applies to pre-baby and post-baby as well as comparisons between myself and other people. In reading your post, I was thinking, "Oh good. Your family can come help you get back on your feet by folding laundry, cooking some meals (maybe freezing some), and vacuuming up bug carcasses." :) What are families for, after all?
I believe Pres. Monson said something about enjoy the things our little ones do now even if they annoy us and we can't stand how dirty or messy our house is, b/c when it is all gone, we will really miss it! I know I already miss the things Kayley and Cora used to do now that they are growing like weeds!! And...you are a great Mom!! Keep up the awesome work!
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