"What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue
When everything I'll ever do I'll do for you
And I go la la la la la
She's got the look."
Gentle Reader...I have, um...an interesting story-ish thing (and brown eyes to go with being blue). It is now midnight, but just after 9pm this fine Saturday (remember how calm my morning was???), my neighbor called. Are you ready for this????
Her daughter has lice.
Moments later (because truth be told, I had to get my bra back on. Confession, while we are at it: I HATE having to wear my nursing bra. WHY must some things feel even more binding than their non-lactating counterparts? WHY I ask. I also must ask why I am so brutally honest and revealing after midnight.) I went over, conditioner, lice comb and Wondertime Magazine Article in hand and shared my saga and tale of triumph while my neighbor looked at me. I knew that look. It's a look of trying not to panic while wanting to itch your hair while wanting to get your child out of bed and scrub her and your whole house down (though not her husband. Her husband has no hair. He will not be afflicted, lucky thing). It's also the look of trying to figure out if this overly helpful neighbor who's just arrived with conditioner, lice comb, magazine and lice tales has a daughter who gave YOUR daughter lice. Hmmmmmmm.
I immediately came home, feeling somehow responsible, and tried to figure out the life cycle of lice. Could Miss A have given our neighbor's daughter lice???? Well, let's see...At most, head lice can live approximately 30 days (Gentle Reader, let's not talk about the scary life cycle and longevity of BODY LICE. Let us also take a moment and pray none of us EVER gets that plague). That puts us back around August 20ish. That means that Miss A could NOT have given her daughter lice, because by that time, Miss A was LICE FREE. Wahoo. And she has been lice free ever since. And I know because I check their hair obsessively now.
Picture the monkeys in the zoo, combing through each others hair. That is me with my children. I am waiting for the obsession to stop.
Anyway, I truly felt strangely guilty, like we'd infested the neighborhood (which we could NOT have done, unless they went digging through the trash and found all the lice-nit/conditioner-ed paper towels we disposed of weeks ago and rubbed them on their heads!). Nevertheless, being who I am, I felt guilt for...oh...until about the time I started blogging this.
Because just about a minute before I started typing, I had this thought: Miss A has been playing with her daughter this week and went over to her house on Monday to play.
Are you thinking what I am thinking????????
Miss A could have lice...again.
Oh dear. Oh holy flippin' pancakes cow.
It is midnight.
And I now have, "The Look."
"And she goes: na na na na na." Ugh.
...to be continued...