So the Primary Program is O-VAH! Wahoo!
I literally felt a sigh escape me and the stress of the performance left. Super J said I was like a different person this afternoon. This made me think: how long have I been so stressed out from this? And blamed it on all the other stressful things? I have no idea. But I feel LOADS better. Yay!
Okay, to set this up...Yesterday I went to/helped out with a baby shower and while I was there, a friend and fellow Primary-ite told me I had to stop stressing about the program (I'm the chorister). "It is what it is," she told me. "All the parents are too busy watching their own kids to worry about anything else going on. And, any thing that isn't 'normal' is what makes the program for everyone else watching. People love the stuff that's unexpected."
So, that was my mantra yesterday afternoon: It is what it is. It is what it is.
And this morning: It is what it is. It is what it is.
And driving to church, listening to the music we'd be singing and I'd be leading: It is what it is.
While in the car, I told Miss A and Miss E that I was already so proud of them and thanked them in advance for doing their very best to sing loudly and lovely and to be such good helpers and be reverent and quiet during the program.
And then we arrived at church.
I wish someone had taped the program, because when you are part of it (ie: leading the music) you don't really relax enough to take it all in. Or see all the "good" parts. Or, if you are Super J, don't see ANY of it because you are out in the halls chasing Miss Q. Sigh.
But it turns out that many of the good parts were showcased by our very own Miss E. And there was NOTHING I could do about it. Because she was singing her HEART out...well, at least for the parts of the song that she liked or knew best. Sometimes it would be a word or note off. Thus, in starts and stops of various parts of the song, she'd be up there, right behind the sacrament table, singing in the loveliest, LOUDEST!!!, vibrato-ed voice that she could manage, carrying it all the way to the back of the chapel, so everyone could hear. And, I was later told, it was complete with jazz hand and arm waving and other strange ticks. I was also told that Miss A tried to shush her a couple of times.
But when a bird is singing, high in the tree, who can stop it? Who dares to (besides its older sister?).
It would have been mortifying if, well, it wasn't what it was. But it was. And it was very sweet. And Miss E even blew kisses after she said her line of the program (in between all that singing!)...I'm not sure to whom else, though she did send one my way. I kept trying to have her fold her arms, but that didn't work. At. All.
I must confess that during two of the songs, I lost my place AND the words, especially during, "I Love to See the Temple" because I was COMPLETELY distracted by the kids--especially my daughter. Miss E really embraced that song (because she LURVES it). So, who knows how that second verse was supposed to sound; I sure don't. I know it didn't sound like it did last week in practice, where we NAILED it. Nope, today, I was trying so hard not to go into fits of giggles and get myself somehow composed that I seriously blew that verse. I couldn't help it! Watching and listening to Miss E--a word off, a note away, LETTING. LOOSE!!!! Oh dear heavens. It makes me giggle thinking about it now.
Of course, Miss A did a great job, too. I wonder how many people saw her mouthing things to me and winking at me throughout the program. She read her lines--she had them memorized but I guess in front of everyone she wanted the security of the word on paper--with purpose and got the words "chose" and "choose" correct...they'd been tripping her up until very recently. And she was a strong voice through the whole thing, singing the right words during the right verse with dependable consistency. ...And trying unsuccessfully to shush her sister. Bless her heart.
Oh!!!! My beautiful girls. I don't know when I've been so grateful for or proud of them. And thinking of them right now brings tears to my eyes. My beautiful girls singing their best to help me out, because I was so stressed and freaked out. They did their part. And more. I sure love them.
And I'm so relieved that it's finally done. Whew.