I got this and had to post it because it was so funny...and all I can say is that you should just commit me now. Anyway, enjoy! And let me know how you do.
"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Fail this test and you are not only a senior citizen, you are well into geezerhood.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it is important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! The test below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intellegence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. Do not peak at the answer until you've already answered the question. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
Q1. What do you put in a toaster?
A1. Bread. If you said "toast", give up now and do something else...like knitting or whittling. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said "bread", go to Question 2.
Q2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell silk. What do cows drink?
A2. Cows drink water. If you said "milk", don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature, such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to Question 3.
Q3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
A3. Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "Green bricks", why the heck are you still reading these? If you said "glass", go on to question 4.
Q4, It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (if you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides to to a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately, the engine fails before he can do anything and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany or no man's land?
A4. You don’t bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don’t bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
Q5. Without using a calculator...You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and five people get on, in Carmathen, six people get off and three people get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
A5. Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
Now pass this on to your friends and pray they do better than you.
P.S. 95% of people fail most of the questions! Hey, at least you're in the majority. HEHEHE"