Super J's truck is currently in the shop being repaired. Did I ever tell you, Gentle Reader, about him damaging the passenger side of his work truck whilst at a service project for our church? Yep. He did. About (between you and me) $1600 worth of damage. Bless his heart. Thank goodness for insurance. SO, I bring this up because he currently has the Red Rocket (aka: my minivan). I feel strangely claustrophobic without it, and also strangely relieved that I cannot go anywhere and that it's not simply because I am a lump. Weird.
Speaking of my lump like condition and the consequences of it: Yeah, so I've been debating about how much (if anything) to blog about my meeting yesterday with one of the counselors and, briefly, even the bishop himself about the ol' Primary Music Chorister thing. I mean, I kinda want to record it for posterity, so that when I'm faced with a similar situation, I can reflect back to this and think, "You were a faithless wretch and had you an ounce of patience, you'd see how wonderfully all this works out for everyone" OR "Indeed! I knew it! There was a conspiracy against pregnant/lactating women! Argh!"
So, in very very briefest form (and because I'm trying to NOT be a faithless wretch), when we last left off, I and the Primary Pres were both in total agreement for finding someone permanent, but both thought a visit from me to re-emphasize that I have 6 weeks left before my little one would help encourage the speed in which a replacement could be found. So, I had the meeting. It was...odd (not sure that's the best description, but for one word, it'll have to do) and not quite what I was expecting, but they tried to be sympathetic and I tried to be honest and now feel that at least I did my part and now must wait to see what happens. It'll work out, one way or another. It always does. One way or another.
You know, I'm trying to analyze myself as to WHY this bugs me so much. Because seriously, I know on some level I'm being ridiculous about this. Probably after the birth of my daughter, a few months later I'll be so gung ho to help out with ANYTHING, I'll be completely opposite and will have to be branded with a red H that I'll have to wear to church for a year, standing for "Hypocrite!". Until then, however, I need to keep in mind: it could be worse.
A friend who reads my blog wrote in the comments about how she went through 2 pregnancies and childbirths while she served 4 years as Primary Pres and when she finally approached the Bishop about it, he said that, "Well, lots of women have babies when they are in leadership positions." Argh. I am gobsmacked by that. And this is where I get angry. Because technically, as I've espoused before, this "motherhood" thing is supposed to be the highest and noblest calling. But it's definitely not treated that way. Nope. Women in the church seem to only be given maternity leave and then these great "growth opportunities" where the woman must then come to terms with it and manage it somehow while fulfilling her calling. CLEARLY it bugs me. Probably even more so because I really took Pres. M. Russell Ballard's most recent General Conference talk "Daughters of God" to heart about being a mother (and let's not even start quoting from the most recent Worldwide Leadership Training session). I mean, I'm not a young mother, but I am a mother of young children. And I think pregnant/lactating women should be considered with this question he posed:
The last question: What can the Church do?
There are many things the Church offers to mothers and families, but for my purpose today may I suggest that the bishopric and the ward council members be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).
Oholycow. I read this over and I realize how irrational I sound. I know this. But I am so unhappy about how this is going down and the stories other women tell me about what happened to them during their child birthing years. It's the only time in all of eternity that we can be with our children while they are this young, so I guess that's why there is such incredible opposition. But why hasn't this bothered me before? With all my other children? I dunno. I just never felt this strongly about it. So, clearly it's because I'm supposed to learn something from this. And when I do, Gentle Reader, trust me...I'll be telling you all about it.